Saturday, May 26, 2018

Making some changes to living a different life (or the better or worse)

This is my 4th week into
  • Not using FB app on my phone
  • Using glass container for take away (as much as I can)
  • Run once every two days and yoga 3 times a week (before I fell sick last week)

Sunday, May 13, 2018

In search for that purpose

It's been many months that I have been lost and found in my little journey, in search for that purpose.
What's the purpose of waking up everyday, to wait for time for lunch and then dinner and then eventually to sleep?
What's the purpose of my job?
What's the purpose of travelling?
What's the purpose of taking photos?
What's the purpose of posting on social media?
What's the purpose of a hundred different other things....
Many people do things because they are told to, because textbooks say so, because that's what their parents do. Few people question. Whys are forbidden. Those who question are bad people,  aggressive, not compliant. Men are more forgiven for "misbehavior", females are very much condemned.

I have been a lone ranger in this journey of searching my own purpose. For everything I do, I breathe, I think. Very few people understood how that's causing depression inside me. I need a purpose. My purpose of being alive. What's the point of following 5 million other people's way of living without knowing the reason? I don't live because I want to be the same as others. Zombies...

This person I came across, ditched her successful career and her comfort zone for a new city, at the age of 40, single, in search for excitement. To feel her pulse, to see new people and experience life in a different way. Despite all that surrounding noises that stopped her, cautioned her, warned her, scared her for being who she can be, how she can be so much more. She did not surrender to be the same as others. She chose her path. Off she went, to Paris.

I am impressed, and I want that excitement to flow in my blood. To discover my own experiences. To paint my own lifestyles, to live my way of living. That's my purpose. However it might be, in what way, or however.

I am not quite there yet, I am on my way. It's getting there. It doesn't matter when I start, how I start.

I am not comfortable feeling overly comfortable. I will not stop questioning, for this is the one thing I truly care about. To question the status quo. To constantly push myself into the unknowns, fix more problems and turn to a new page. I can be so much more than who I am today. I can do so much more for not just myself, but the mother earth. Why am I sitting in this enclosed room, wasting time over meaningless jealousies, sorrows, insecurities, fears and unnecessary conflicts?

I have no time for losers, nor I want to die a loser. That's my mantra.


Sunday, May 6, 2018

Love is the answer

So I watched at movie at the beach, on a rainy day - after one work day, in my work clothes and wearing covered shoes. It turned ugly towards the end, my feet were caught in rainy water and sand, but I still enjoy the experience.

I watched the movie All the Money in the world, and enjoyed the movie. I heard, this is based on a true story.

It seems to me that this movie was made to criticize the messed up priorities of this rich person, but I still choose to believe in mankind. I still believe that this rich person made the decision for a wise reason. I still believe in love, basically.

I am also recently watching random Chinese tv shows about unhappy couples criticizing about their spouses, and many times it was due to money. There was this one that I watched yesterday that this wife who was divorced once, and she decided that she would make a check list with 22 criterion and made sure her future husband would qualify all her criterion before she gets married again. And she did get married again.

But guess what, she's still unhappy with her second husband who passed the checklist.

What does it say? It says that love is the answer. It's not about the money.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Eating & Exercising

It's been a week that I push myself to move more. Basically to run (almost) everyday and attend yoga/pilates classes consistently. I don't skip meals anymore, only make conscious decisions over what I eat. Take only food that is easier to digest. I also try not to starve myself too much, while keeping myself 70% full each meal. The end result is now that I am able to control when I eat and not eat. Feeling stronger with all that food & exercises that I have done. This is the way to go, to be a better me. Keep it going, week 2!

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Random Thoughts on Saturday.

This is the first time after many weeks that I stayed in Singapore for the weekend, instead of going back to Malaysia. I have an exam ahead and I have to be studying.  Problems are getting resolved individually, gradually. I am looking forward more and more towards the future: A future of freedom for creativity and personalization, at my newly acquired apartment. Boyfriend and I are also visiting Africa and Scotland this year. I have a pretty exciting time ahead. Should be picking my camera against and make some nice photos, soon! keep that vibe going, girl!  

Sunday, April 1, 2018



Saturday, March 31, 2018







Making some changes to living a different life (or the better or worse)

This is my 4 th week into Not using FB app on my phone Using glass container for take away (as much as I can) Run once every two days...