Tuesday, February 20, 2018







Sunday, February 11, 2018

Profession and fun.

What do you do professionally?
What do you do for fun?

Profession feeds your tummy.
Fun stuff feeds your soul.

I have a full tummy.
With a hungry soul.
So I am out today, to feed that soul.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Being thirty.

It's weird that this is coming out of a constant traveler who spends most of her time living a nomad lifestyle. But sometimes, not all the time, I enjoy being around familiar faces, places, routines and processes. Like things will happen exactly the way I am ready for. It feels very safe. Just like how it feels at my home. Mom will always be Mom, and the first aid box will always be in the same drawer full of my favorite bandages. Mom tops it up every two days without fail, for decades.

Bandages, of my preference, are rare. I am clumsy enough to keep using up emergency bandages that I have in my backpack, and I couldn't always find the type I like in every city I traveled to. My biggest travel pain. But I still love travelling and all that surprises that a new city brings me.

It's a bittersweet, I guess. This might also be a sign of age. 2018 is making me thirty. 

I also feel my hormones changing and the urge to own a house, lately. An urge I never had before. With reasons that I can't even justify statistically and rationally. I own many random possessions like paintings, expensive bags and hairdryers, that I need a space to keep them. But I don't necessarily need to own that space to keep stuffs. I could have rented the space. But I don't want to rent a space, I want to own one. 

But I travel so much and I will still do. Why do I need a house? Or maybe what I really need is just to own fewer things. 

Conflicts. Conflicts. Conflicts. Between Jekyll and Hyde living inside me. I like stability and I like variability. I want to own a house, and I don't. I am grown person, but not quite. Shit.

I guess, this is my first lesson being 30-year-old. I need to sort out my inner conflicts, convince myself and deal with them. It's exciting because these are some major decisions and that I have to make and bear consequences like my parents did. Like the mortgages, loan rates, insurance and other things. I become responsible for my life now! 

Oh yea, I definitely feel more and more adult-sy turning thirty. Like I need to plan a world for myself. There are even discussions about retirement among my friends. Staying WAY ahead of time! I also invested in stocks and plan for my financials. I bought insurance and pay monthly premiums. Monitor the stock markets and read financial news like a filthy businessman. So weird!

All the various adulthood conflicts aside, what really matters to me about being thirty, as compared to being twenty-something, is that maturity and growth. I got to realize that it is what I own in my brain that matters, not the expensive bags or cars I own. Turning thirty is not going to change "what" I do, but "how" I do. It is about doing the same old shit with a different mind, think differently, maturely, and hopefully creatively. Plan big, dream bigger with the confidence, experience and knowledge accumulated over time. Make that good name for millenials!

And I will still rise and fall just like in the past, but I will rise and fall harder as I turn older. Be ready to not expect and be pampered like a princess. Be ready to stand firm and speak my mind with respect. Be there to manage bigger problems, and solve them with ethics and dignity. At times, I have to cry and recover on my own. I am not a kid anymore!

Something I have never considered or done as a young person. Something that makes me proud of being a little older.

I have some real exciting lessons ahead to start this new stage of life.
"Don't die a dreamer." I read.


两个月前开始接触瑜伽,一开始只因为上海太冷了,为了图热瑜伽教室里的30°暖气于是报名参加试课。参加第一堂课的时候,同班的同学都像软黏土一样,老师一个指令大家跟着一个标准动作。我么,反正老师都会额外的加一句“尽力就好”,每次做动作感觉我跟脚趾中间隔了太平洋,so near yet so far....


之后,我签了月课,开始自律地每两天都到瑜伽教室报到。我喜欢瑜伽让身体跟知觉一起配合努力做同一件事的感觉。用耳朵去听去理解老师说的,用眼睛观察老师的示范,然后自己去尝试用身体协调表达各种动作。这一系列没有一样不需要身体各器官的互相配合支持才能够完成。看似简单重复性高的各种动作,要做得标准没有一次不让我汗流浃背。曾经鄙视老师为什么一次次的要我做downdog,只感觉老师总在我背后使劲压背,后来才知道原来我做了不下百遍的downdog,到今天我那“三角形”长的像菱形多一点丑毙了。心里的 OS就是,老师真是慈悲,从来没发脾气。




平时看着不起眼的家庭主妇,来到瑜伽课像是黏土人一般,几乎能够把身体折进行李箱里check in。上完一堂课大家都纷纷仰视着目送她离开教室,快没给她铺个红走道恭送她出门了。什么地位、身份、财富已经看不到,只觉得这主妇正在闪闪发光,走路都有风...




Sunday, September 3, 2017

Back to the basics

Everything in life on planet involves risks.
Back during those days when I was a nerdy statistics student, the professor said.
In a low down tone as if risks is a haunting ghost.

I was not afraid, I studied that very first chapter on my textbook.
I figured out, risks is nothing but a probability.

And then I graduated from the university and marched into a company and claimed:
"I have a degree, I know risk. Hire me"

I was hired and day by day I applied probability at work, to control risks.
But never one time that worked out like I thought it would.
Day by day, I start to question the definition of risks.
I recalled that low down tone the professor had about the word "risk"

Today, I am back to the basics, to the learning about risk.
The first chapter" Understanding risk"
Took me years, and I still know fuck about risk.

I don't know risk.
Shame on me...

Thursday, May 11, 2017











Saturday, April 29, 2017

I am twentysomethingwen, and I will always be.

Yamanashi - Lake Kawaguchi
Past few years has been an interesting one for me, travels has made a big portion of it, and him.

Many times I am wondering myself: Who am I? What am I? So what? 

My values, and dream? What are they? 

I have been second guessing about myself a lot,  recently. That depresses me and I hated it.

I love life, I love animals, I love seeing new places. I read people, and I am good at it. 

I study and work for insurance, and I am successful professionally. I am intelligent, diligent, determined and hardworking. I need no one to tell me how I can be good, I am just good. 

I take pictures, I can be better and I am working on it. 

I have my values and dream. What's for me, and what's not. I change for no one.  

I have my weaknesses, but that's for me to know, for me to grow. I feel no shame for being bad at certain things. My shortcomings is part of me, we live together.

To all my girls, my friends, my love ones - 

Be around people who appreciates your dream, your values. And for who you are.

Not with people who constantly doubt on your decisions, question your motive, and create anxieties. Life is too short for toxic.

Love the guy for who you are proud of to be with, and let both of you be who you are, independently and successfully. Not controlled, compromised, and manipulated by a process, society norm, government or your parents. Otherwise, drop it and keep looking. 

Know that every one has an unleashed potential only for yourself to discover. And time is limited. Don't cry over spilled milk, don't pause for too long. Be ready to stand up and keep going, keep trying. Chin up, and move!

There is no need to feel defeated over failure and disapproval. You need no one to approve of your decisions. It's your life... your choice. Be responsible to no one, but yourself.

It's a great Saturday morning, I am grateful for every one and everything that makes who I am today.

Those who helped me, stabbed me, trapped me. 

But hey, I only care about right now and tomorrow. 

To be honest, I hate no one. I am running out of time.

I am twentysomethingwen, and I will always be. 

The only difference is, I will only be better, only better. 

twentysomethingwen, forever. 


结婚前,未来婆婆去问“神”,让神算一算儿子跟未来媳妇的婚姻是不是可以美满长存。 结果“神”说这媳妇命不好,结合后必定家无宁日。 未来婆婆于是劝诫儿子在结婚之前再考虑考虑,不要草率结婚。 诚实坦白的儿子于是把整件事告诉未来媳妇,说自己妈妈要他再好好...