I got really down and this afternoon I made a very terrible painting - I doubt on myself, I doubt on my capability, I doubt on the meaning of life. I was just being a complete negative grumpy butt. I thought I was not going to make it through this thunderstorm. For one moment, I was just going to give up a very good opportunity that came by, that many people are dying for.
I hope this article at least help those are feeling shitty out there..
I am sorry that you are feeling shitty right now. I have recovered, somewhat, and ready to take on more and live life to fullest. These are 5 things I did, and I appreciate not only your sweet notes about my blog.. but if you do want to share your stories with me, I am more than happy to listen to them :)
- To talk about it, multiple times. I rang a friend who is now living in Adelaide. She's my sweetest ever childhood friend I can rely on telling her everything. We spoke for about an hour, she's the best ever listener/speaker you can ask for. She told me to talk about my problems to many people, and I can take in or ignore any comments out of my problems, the main objective is to talk about the problem, again and again. By repeating the same story again and again, you tend to get less interested about the issue - in a way, you pay less attention to the destructing feelings arising out of the problem. Rather, you feel like it's not a big deal anymore!
- To feel love (again) for the world. Do you still love the world? What have you done to make the world a better place? I went into this deepest self depreciation mode that I just disregard my worth - I think I am worthless - I don't think I can do anything to change the world, neither I think anyone can. But in fact, as a barista, a good cup of coffee may make the day for a customer. A small conversation you made with your friend, may change a decision and save a life. This is HOW MUCH you can make this world a better place to live, as long as you still feel the love for the world.
- To focus on yourself. Will you hang out with someone who is just like you? I said No to myself when I was a grumpy butt. But a big YES when I am confident and upbeat. I almost feel like I would date myself when I feel good, sometimes. Be the person you would date. Look gorgeous, put on colorful clothing, learn a new skill, make a new friend, brag about your achievement, go run in the park.. I mean, anything that can only bring plus points to make you an improved person. For yourself, not others. Shut the door and talk to yourself, what is it that you want to see yourself in the near future and do whatever it takes to be that person. RIGHT NOW.
- To dream a dream. Many people don't have a dream. It's really good to invest in one. For me, I would like to travel 100 countries before I die and I have done 20% now. It's really important to re-look into my results and make a progress. The number countries I have visited has been stagnant for a while now and certainly I would like to make a plan to get it working again. Just when I was feeling shitty, I forgot I have a dream that I can look forward to.
- To blog about it. Few days back on my friend's Facebook, he said that he missed having a blog and read about friends' blogs after school. During the MSN era, blogging was a big thing in our neighborhood. But sadly today, people are more inclined towards "piece meal" posts on Facebook/Instagram/Reddit, just a line or two. The reason why I blog because I would like others to rethink about the way they live - through my travels, through my words, through my pictures. You might be reading in private - and that's okay - I am happy that you read my blog. I have received so many private message asking questions and I love them. I don't make money out of my blog, and it is not easy at all to make blogs.. But this is the least I can do, to share and to love people.
There is no reason to hate yourself or think you're no good. Whatever the reason it is I am feeling shitty, what's more important is how I recognized that I am feeling shitty, and that I seek help and how I helped myself out of it and feel confident again. I am not here telling you that you NEED to do these 4 things to feel better - simply, I am just suggesting that I did these to feel good. Happy Saturday!